Let’s give this guy a name.
What? You’re only a little stinky.
That’s more like it.
Your name is MARTY MUDMAN. You are 17 years old and you have SURVIVED in these WETLANDS for your entire life. Your PARENTS have left you to your own devices 4 years ago, after they determined you were apt enough for this environment. They left due to UNCERTAIN CIRCUMSTANCES, but you figure it was within reason. You enjoy being LEFT ALONE most of the time anyway, so that none may inhibit your FREEDOM. However, you aren’t opposed to having friends and contributing to your local COMMUNITY.
You are generally a KIND and FREE-SPIRITED type of person. You love to casually roam and DO WHATEVER YOU WANT. While you do as you see fit, most of the time you are RESPECTFUL towards others, though you may come off as insensitive or aloof at times. You are also a very QUIET person, due to having lived in the wilderness with almost NO ONE around. This doesn’t stop you from being loud unexpectedly, you just think excess noise is unnecessary.
You live alone, as mentioned before, in what you would describe as WARM WETLANDS, or a mild SWAMP. Your house is a LITTLE SHACK, obscured by some bushes and trees, with facilities suitable enough for you. It fulfills all your basic needs and gives you a place to rest, bathe, and browse the WORLD WIDE WEB at your leisure.
Your INTERESTS include going on ADVENTURES, discovering WILDLIFE, exploring the LAND, and DOCUMENTING NEW FINDINGS. Your hobbies include day-to-day SURVIVAL, strumming on your ACOUSTIC GUITAR, reading BOOKS, and looking at MAPS. In fact, you’ve experimented with cartography yourself, but have only managed some CRUDE LAYOUTS of the lands. Some may interpret it as a child’s doodling, but it makes sense in your head.
Your chumhandle is interminableMoss and you show off your mostly chilled out nature by speaking in a pretty quiet but polite manner. nothing out of the ordinary, just you living your life! :]
Now that this is cleared up, you’ve got some serious frog showcasing to do.
A mighty fine frog in its natural habitat. You found this one sitting just outside your shack.
Oh would you look at that? What an absolute party!
You let the water encase you. Clothes are temporary and peace is forever. There’s a cleaner looking stream nearby that you could soak in for a moment if you wanted to clean yourself off anyways.
…
This is the life.
The joys of nature are always so thrilling. It’s so painful to think there are some people out here that would hate to be in your position. You know your best friend would hate being here, he would probably start sobbing at the very idea of getting his clothing even slightly wet. He’s always been pretty uptight with the idea of any mess…
Maybe you should text him and ask how he is!
Your trusty invention! You do this whole laying in water thing fairly often, so it makes sense to make sure your phone doesn’t fizzle out or something from all the water. Welp. Time to text your buddy!
-- interminableMoss [IM] began pestering wonderousThespian [WT] --IM: you wouldn’t believe what i’m doing right now :]
WT: let me guess 4 u
WT: ur probs @ ur house soakin urself in water
IM: haha
IM: yeah
IM: you should try it out
WT: r u showerin soakin urself in water or r u layin in crusty ass water soakin in water
IM: hey
IM: i’ll have you know that swamp water isn’t dirty or “crusty” like everyone thinks it is
IM: be nice to nature!
IM: she does a lot for us.
WT: ill pass on ur offer
IM: you’re always being such a sore thumb :[
IM: i’m sure once you try out sitting in some water surrounded by fish and plants you will love it
WT: wtf
WT: tht litrly sounds like th opposite of smth id like
WT: cant u get like
WT: idk diseases or smth
WT: wtf wht if the water gives u like aids
WT: is that somethin that happens
WT: water aids
WT: thats like not healthy or whatev
WT: aint there like those fish that bite the shit out of ur toes
WT: n like suck ur blood
WT: thats gross
WT: i dont want to sit in sum murky ass water gettin sucked off by a fish
WT: shits like
WT: not cool or whatever
WT: id rather be gettin that treatment from a hot girl
WT: if u kno wht i mean
WT: 😏😏😏
-- interminableMoss [IM] sent a video attachment --
WT: wtf did u even hear anythin i was sayin
IM: sorry!
IM: i got distracted looking at these frogs
IM: look how cute they are
IM: :]
WT: theyre like
WT: whatever
IM: :[
WT: fine theyre like fire
IM: what do you mean they are like fire?
IM: they’re frogs, they’d die in fire
WT: no omg
WT: dude ur like
WT: 2 wholesum lmao
WT: its kinda cute
WT: wait not cute
WT: fuck
WT: no homo dude
WT: im not gay and never will b gay
WT: its just like funny idk
WT: im not gay i didnt say anythin
IM: okay, i believe you!
IM: hey, can i come by today?
IM: i wanted to post a few more videos on my new youtube account but the wifi out here hasn’t been very good
WT: wow its almost leik ur in a swamp or smth
IM: wait you’re right
IM: i think it is because i’m in a swamp!
WT: omf
WT: im not even gonna get back on this it ended badly th last time i did
WT: which was like
WT: 2 secs ago
WT: ya u can use my wifi
WT: n come see how hot i am or w/e
WT: lolz
IM: awesome!
IM: i will see you soon my friend
IM: :]
WT: WAIT
-- interminableMoss [IM] ceased pestering wonderousThespian[WT] --
WT: pls tell me u r goin 2 wash urself off b4 u come into my house
WT: omfg
WT: u fukin bitch wtf
WT: i cant believe u disconnected on me
WT: smfh
Page 06. Act 1
- teeth, 2023